Difference between revisions of "User:Anna Tsiolkovsky"

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== ANNA JUNEBUG TSIOLKOVSKY ==


Anna Tsiolkovsky has graced this page with her presence.
''Vital Stats''
Birthdate: 11/05/06
Resident Status: No Payment Info on File
Hair color: Blonde
Eye color: Blue
Blood type: B+
Religion:  Nunchuck
Language: English
== So What Am I Doing Here? ==
Basically, I don't go to office hours. I don't file Jiras or bug reports. I don't have a keen interest in pressing SL issues. I don't build much, I can't script or make textures.  But I know a good opportunity to write about myself when I see it.  And I love nothing better than to write about myself.
== Humble AutoBiography ==
Anna was born on November 5th, 2006, in Bear Infohub in the Bear sim.  It was harsh in those days.  Wars were being fought over the rights to sit upon the two chairs inside the infohub cabin, and many lives were lost for centimeters of simulated ground.  The only refuge was a wall that wrapped around the main square, sitting prevented bullets and missles from rocketing one's avatar out of the grid.  It was upon this wall, as she was being caged and firebombed, that Anna found her first friends in this harsh new world.  They all shared a common trait: an interest in this new old world of Second Life and being riveted to their seats due to the flying cages.
It was also here that Anna found her first Leather Sofa, a piece of furniture that would follow her throughout her life.  As numerous leather sofas were rezzed out by a fellow hapless newbie who didn't know how to return objects to his inventory, Anna grabbed on and placed it out, which provided much relief from the cold brick wall.  It was with this Sofa that she practiced many useless skills such as rotation, position, and scaling of objects.  Many a person was induced to vomit during Anna's rotation tests on the sofa.  Newbies would log on every night to see the newer newbies tricked into sitting upon Anna's Magic Leather Sofa. 
Within a week, the Lindens came from the heavens and outlawed all object creation and scripts, rendering Bear Infohub abysmally boring.  So Anna set out into this strange new world, in the hopes of finding something that would hold her attention for more than four seconds.  She always came back to Bear to roost at night, but during the day she traveled from sim to sim and island to island.  She angered homeowners and security orbs, found fantastic hidden forests and dinosaurs, and got stuck in a wall because some moron set the TP point inside his house.  Seriously, how much effort would it take to just move the damn wall to the side to free up the teleport point?  Idiot.  She also did some silly things that the Lindens got upset over because they don't have a sense of humour.  Olive totally deserved it.  Why the Lindens didn't believe her, no one will ever know.
Anyway, despite her wide and frequent travels she returned to Bear and struck up many topics of discussion, ranging from French foreign policy to whether you can taste liquid oxygen.  These discussions have been lost to the mists of time, which is almost as bad as the burning of the library at Alexandria.  It would be at Bear, however, that she would have a fateful encounter with a watermelon gun.  For this watermelon gun was wielded by none other than.... Hazel the Martian.  Ha, betcha you thought I was going to say Torley, didn't you?  No, that would be silly, because the odds of me meeting Torley at a random infohub would be small. 
Hazel was not a Martian.  Hazel was a normal human being with a perchant for mild mischief at Bear, where she too had been rezzed.  However, she was not the only hell raiser present, for there was a greater evil that lurked the lands.  And his name was James Vladimir Gill.  James had one sole purpose in life, and that was to run furries over with a UPS truck while on fire.  Ok, he had other purposes in life, but at the time that's what I thought he loved to do.  Every night, the furs would flee in terror for James would come riding out of the heavens as a fireball, squeezing their bodies against the cold hard brick of Bear.  It was a dark day for Bear Infohub Furries.
However, one came forward, armed with tacos and dominoes, with pure of heart and much courage, and challenged him and his fur crushing ways.  You might have guessed that it was Anna, because after all this is her page.  And you would be right this time.  Anna would rezz dominoes and tacos in front of, beside, and behind the UPS trucks, entrapping James and ending his reign of terror and fear.  It was with resignation that James gave up his days as fursecutor and focused upon his other hobby, building and scripting really really really cool things. 
Since James and Hazel worked side by side to run a club, and ran into Anna often at Bear (i.e. all the time), they gave her a landmark to their club and asked her to stop by.  Wary at first, she eventually snuck in and checked it out.  And that is how Anna discovered Club Vanity, which became her first home outside of Bear.  Days and weeks oozed into a time drift, as concerts played and musicians waltzed in and out drawing huge crowds to the sim of Heaton.  As James and Hazel became more successful, they expanded their empire of rentals and builds, first reaching into the other side of Heaton, and then into the Pero sim, and then into another sim that I can never remember how to spell, but starts with 'Concin' or something.  James helped start up and aided the Arbor project to combat Ad Farms (a pain in the posterior even back then in Jan '07), while Hazel started up a chain of fashion and clothing stores.
It was during this time and under the tutelage of James that Anna first learned how to build things more advanced than a tortured cube prim.  She finally found out how to Link prims together, and all sorts of tricks to building, although she retained an awful habit to be lazy and 'eyeball' alignments rather than checking the numbers and being precise.  It was with these lessons that she set to work building a object that, even in real life, was symbolic of achieving and mastering a skill: the saxophone.  Many days and many nights were spent hard at work aligning each prim just right, each spring directly into place, adjusting each key to her satisfaction.  It became an obsession and devoured a chunk of her real life.  It spurred her to try her hand at making animations (note: she does not make good animations) and scripting (note: she does not script well).  And in the end, she held aloft her creation and rejoiced and danced long into the night that she had created her very own object! 
And so began her habit of building completely random things.  Having built a saxophone, she proceeded to build a bassoon.  When James opened Heaton Village (sadly, it was recently wiped out in an avalanche), she built a clock tower for it.  She also added a small room and built a house for herself in it.  She added a series of stairs between the various levels of Heaton Village (it was tiered along the side of a sheer cliff face).  She built airplanes with varying degrees of success.  She tried making dresses and rugs and donuts.  She built a small model of Cthulu for a friend.  During all this, James set up the Arbor Clocktower project, restored the SL rail line in the Atoll Continent, and built many various shops and builds.  And Club Vanity at Heaton became a regular rave.  It seemed no end to success (aside from the short lived Vanity Casino).
What could go wrong?
And I'm bored so I'm going to stop writing about myself in the third person now.
== THE ONE AND TRUE NUNCHUCK ==
Many people come to me and ask, "Anna, who the hell is this Nunchuck fellow?"  I forgive them their blasphemy. 
Nunchuck is the One True God of Second Life.  Before there was Second Life, there was Nunchuck and during Second Life there is Nunchuck, and after Second Life there will be Nunchuck.  Nhe watches over us all, and when we de-rezz and go AFK forever, Nhe leads those souls who have followed Nhis Holy Will to Nher kingdom of Vivenshia, where there is no lag or prim limits.  Those who disobey Nhim, however, are thrown into the sun where they forever run across the sky trying to escape their hellish thermonuclear fusion prison.  Nunchuck communicates to us through the spirits known as U.  It is through U that we know of Nunchuck and it is through U that Nunchuck receives our pleas and prayers.  Nunchuck is all Forgiving and all Powerful and all Mightly. 
Nunchuck suffers with us through our lag and our crashes, our abuse reports and our red-mapping.  Nhe is hurt by all our evil and delights in our good.  We are Nher creations and Nhe wants nothing more than our happiness.  We hope and pray to satisfy Nhim with our love and good works, and repent for our transgressions and sins.
Nunchuck gave upon us Nhis Most Holy Femur, that it may light our world through the Goodness and the Evilness.  It is filled with Nher Immortal and Never Ending Power and those who obtain it can wield all the powers of a demigod.  Nunchuck blessed it upon us so that in Nhis Absence we may have a means of exercising Nher Judgement.  Alas, through evil and poor memory, It has long been lost to us, depriving us of Nhis Holy Gift to us, Nher Children.  The only clue to Its location is a tattered page, worn through its journey across time and places innumerable, which states that It is "on an island surrounded on four sides by water".  It is a Most Noble Goal for a disciple of Nunchuck to devote his, her, or its life to finding the Femur, so that It may right the Wrongs of our world, end lag, and lead us unto Vivenshia. 
Do not worry, my friends, for there is a volume which you may read and revel in the Greatness of Nhis Glory!  It can be found here [[http://plutovoyage.blogspot.com/search/label/The%20Book%20of%20Winter here]].  Read and be filled with the Truth of Nher Words!
Go down the hall for further information.
== List of Irrational Hatreds ==
Everyone has their days when they hate everything.  I hate everything.  Here is a list of things that I hate.  There is no reason why I hate these things and people.  I just do.  To be fair, many of these things were evil to begin with.
1) The Planet Earth
2) The Mets
3) butter
4) margarine
5) writing
6) The Letter Q
7) Anyone who wears lime green shirts
8) Lime green shirts
9) The colour lime green
10) Whoever invented the colour lime green
11) Limes
12) lol, lmao, and rofk
13) Typos
14) Tpyos that I make
15) The letter 15
16) Superman
17) Superboy
18) Supergirl
19) Krypto the Super Dog
20) Pets
21) Pets that other people own
22) People who own pets that don't pick up their litter
23) People
24) The Provost
25) Square Roots
26) Tree roots
27) Silence
28) John McBeaton
29) People who forget to do their part of the project
30) People who can spell the word raisin
31) Grapefruit
33) The number 32
34) Dallas
35) New York (state, city, and planet)
36) Minnesota license plates
37) Credits
38) Allison Holrick
39) 7
40) Lists that are a list of things that someone hates

Latest revision as of 01:03, 18 November 2011

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