User:Jumpman Lane

Jumpman Lane (born May 5, 2007 in Second Life), is the founder and chief executive officer of Slut Magazine.

Second Life's L'enfant Terrible

Jumpman NEVER for a second hesitates to put his foot deep in some tards crap! He doesn't look for trouble he IS trouble! From the second he logs on somebody asks wtf did you do? Why did ya do it! Blah blah blah!

Jumpman Lane's Crimes

Jumpman Lane’s Crimes

They just got me nailed to the wall! here is a list of meh crimes:

• G-team yappin!

[11:45] Zara Linden: you were given a 14 day suspension for the wiki vandalism: abuse of support staff. i am sorry you didn't get the letter, but we will be happy to get that to you via a ticket.

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: er thanx

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: but can i ar him for vandalizin mine

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: im permabanned there and cant evcen fix mine

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: hehehehe

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: nvm

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: a joke

[11:46] Jumpman Drutman: thanx zara

[11:46] Zara Linden: np jumpman

• age veri requi!:

Dear Jumpman Lane, It has come to our attention that you may be residing on the wrong Second Life grid. The adult grid is for people 18 years old and up. The teen grid is for people between 13 and 17 years of age. We have put your account on hold pending confirmation of your age.

• griefing!:

1.Dear Jumpman Lane,

Linden Lab individually investigates the circumstances of every Abuse Report we receive. Following a careful review of our server records and logs, we have determined that your recent actions violated the Second Life Community Standards or Terms of Service. The violation in question occurred on April 11, 2008 in the region of Innocence. Violation: Disturbing the Peace: Repetitive Content, Spamming Repeatedly and persistently transmitting undesired content, whether by IM, chat, notecard, object or texture drop, or email to another Resident. The rules of conduct are interpreted with the broadest meaning possible. Discipline: As a result of this violation, your Second Life account is being temporarily suspended for a period of 7 days. It will return to active status on Friday, Apr 18, 2008.

2.Dear Jumpman Lane,

Linden Lab individually investigates the circumstances of every Abuse Report we receive. Following a careful review of our server records and logs, we have determined that your recent actions violated the Second Life Community Standards or Terms of Service. The violation in question occurred on March 26, 2008 in the region of Bangkok City. Violation: Disturbing the Peace: Repetitive Content, Spamming Repeatedly and persistently transmitting undesired content, whether by IM, chat, notecard, object or texture drop, or email to another Resident. The rules of conduct are interpreted with the broadest meaning possible. Discipline: No additional action is being taken at this time. (note a 1 day ban for scripted objects is in meh jumpan avi that i cant acces now comin later!)

• TROLLIN forum whiny-baby tards!

1.Dear Jumpman Lane,

Linden Lab individually investigates the circumstances of every Abuse Report we receive. Following a careful review of our server records and logs, we have determined that your recent actions violated the Second Life Community Standards or Terms of Service. The violation in question occurred on October 3, 2007 in the region of . Violation: Forum Suspension: Spamming, Trolling, Flaming We value an open environment in which residents feel free to express themselves, even when their views may not be popular. From time to time we find we need to take disciplinary action on the Second Life Forums, when someone is determined after careful review to have violated either the Second Life Community Standards of the Terms of Service. Violation: Spamming, Trolling, Flaming We believe in an honest and open free exchange of ideas, and in always maintaining a respect for the opinions and positions of other people. However, Flaming (posting a message that is intended to incite anger or directly attack a person or persons), Spamming (multiple posts of the same topic or discussion), and Trolling (a post with an intentionally contrary opinion written with the intent of inciting or getting argumentative opinions) are not allowed in the Second Life Forums. You have been suspended from Second Life and the SL Forums for fourteen (14) days and will not be able to access the forums or Second Life.

2.Dear Jumpman Lane,

Linden Lab individually investigates the circumstances of every Abuse Report we receive. Following a careful review of our server records and logs, we have determined that your recent actions violated the Second Life Community Standards or Terms of Service. Violation: Forum Suspension: Spamming, Trolling, Flaming We value an open environment in which residents feel free to express themselves, even when their views may not be popular. From time to time we find we need to take disciplinary action on the Second Life Forums, when someone is determined after careful review to have violated either the Second Life Community Standards of the Terms of Service. Violation: Spamming, Trolling, Flaming We believe in an honest and open free exchange of ideas, and in always maintaining a respect for the opinions and positions of other people. However, Flaming (posting a message that is intended to incite anger or directly attack a person or persons), Spamming (multiple posts of the same topic or discussion), and Trolling (a post with an intentionally contrary opinion written with the intent of inciting or getting argumentative opinions) are not allowed in the Second Life Forums. You have been suspended from Second Life and the SL Forums for fourteen (14) days and will not be able to access the forums or Second Life.

Jumpy's Enemies

"I'll bury these cockaroches!!!! -J. lane

These turdballs offended Jumpy in one manner or another and got a foot in their crack! need to ask where their sol ja ja ja ja jas at!

1. Torley Linden (watermelon)
2. DjQuad Radio (mentally crippled!)
3. Starfighter Tammas (sebastion Contepomi's furry alt)
4. sebastion Contepomi (Starfighter's gorean slave-boy alt)
5. Myself Ah (crack-licker for prims)
6. Phooka Oh (sell-out)
7. Penn Euler (cry-baby)
8. Chris Norse (sl forums crybaby and whimp!)
9. The Forum Cartel (granny women all!)
10. Jorel Rau (Bot!)
11. Poland (a pack of furry tards!)
12. JetZep Zabelin (furry alt? of a tard I know)

The Great Watermelon War

It all started with this lil article in Slut magazine...

Then that watermelon tard or one of his pals had Jump banned from the Library of prims and all of the Watermelon's watermelon patches. AND To'ley vandalized THIS PAGE by inserting the crap pic below!

Well Jump retaliated by adding HOT pix of Jumpman Lane to To'ley's page and the foloowing recollection by the Great wata Wata himself:

Well I met Jumpman Lane in a watermelon patch. We were smashing watermelons and pondering the meaning of life and regaling each other with all the hookers we have well...er you know... when we realized that TOGETHER we could take over the world...er which world we weren't sure of...so we decided Second Life would do. Me on the inside, Jump on the outside, he in a Spiderman suit, I disguised as a watermelon would bring JUSTICE to a cold world...er virtual world. So the legend has begun! We'll sort out the meaning of all this later!

Jump got a 14 day ban for this.

Hi there,Linden Lab has reviewed, at your request, a discipline action recently taken against your account. Our investigation shows that the discipline was correctly applied. Your account has been suspended for 14 days for vandalizing Torley Linden's wiki page.If any further information is required, Linden Lab will contact you regarding this incident. Otherwise, please consider the matter resolved as no further communications will be sent. What to expect: Linden Lab examines each abuse incident independently. Linden Lab will not disclose the resolution of abuse/community standards violations with Second Life residents, except when necessary to introduce a new/amended policy. Linden Lab will not disclose incident details including (but not limited to): identity of the reporter, details of chat logs, resolution of incidents, suspensions/banning of Second Life residents. Best regards, Linden Lab and the Second Life Community team.

Those LL drones are nothing if not polite....

"I suppose the boys in the Lab won this one:P!" _Jumpman Lane

Alts

Bane Martinek

(Pictured above)

Technically Jumpman Lane is the alt of Bane Martinek. Yet, Bane was "city chic" and Jump was too much of a noob to fix him so he created Jumpman and named him for a tennis shoe in his closet. In fact, every nameable character Jump has ever played was named Bane. Sadly, Bane is to be shortly discontinued by Linden labs cause quote: "Screw them LL tards! I aint payin another 5USD to age verify nobody!" -Jump. Lane

To be Discontinued

all these were asked to age verify when Jumpwas out griefin Penn Euler with BreatheCutta Flow

1. Bane Martinek (actually primary)
2. Spook Tomorrow (Public Townscape Prim Thief)
3. BreatheCutta Flow (Pt prim thief named after Jump's rl nephew)
4. Keyshop Coker (christ what a name)
5. nomads Dagger (suspected! origionally perhaps the sniffy sniffy man from pakistan used to grief in Abusers and Victems)
6. Jumpman Spiegel (first of a zillion Jumpman alts)

These are the Current and the New

...er someof them hehehehe! Jumpman Lane is only using alts named Jumpman inorder to confuse his enemies into thinking that ALL the Jumpmans on the grid are in fact alts of Jumpman Lane. Many, many, many more exist than these.

1. Jumpman Drutman
2. Jumpman Landau
3. Jumpman Zipper
4. Jumpman Landesbaum

Quote

• My name is Lane...I bring out hoes, all spit-shined and sparklin', and glitterin fullbright into the world! I'm standing in the middle of the MFSL with a mini gatlin, like Tommy Vercetti... on the run in San Fiero, like C.J. ...waitin on the endless summer, like Jimmy Hopkins.

• All eyes on me! L-A-N-E! And I'm Jumpy! And you can't be me! And I know that ain't fair!

• Cause i stay jay walkin! two threees one meh feet! i'm ready to set the whole MFSL on ablaze. You fire-proof or swimmin in gasoline

Jump's Illegitamate Second Life Daughter

annie Juran

HotNsExy Whitfield

• mother:HotNsExy Whitfield (born 5-5-07 Jump's rezz day!) of Jump's

a real live psycho who when she wasnt acting crazy, constantly hit Jump up for L$. One day she SWORE she was prego and wore a fat bellied avi for like all of two days then she intored Jump to annie who was a kid avi. Jump immediately tried to shoot the lil tard. Weeks later the kiddie porn Scare hit and annie was like 21 the next day!

• Now annie runs around half dressed lookin for excitement and keeps buggin Jump about appearin nude in Slut Magazine. Crap. As if Jump were a perve!

Slut Magazine

Slut Magazine!

Where dreams come true! Fullbright in Windlight! We spit shine and sparkle up only the prettiest avis for your titilation and edification! Keep ya eyes wide-peeled...and ENJOY!

Staff

Editorial

• Founder, Jumpman Lane
• Publisher, Luscioulumpchunks McMillian
• Editrix-in-Chief, Kimber Martinek
• Layout Editrix, Candace Flossburg (Ms. Can. Flo.)
• Circulation Editrix, Brooklyen Balut
• Editrix-at-Large, Roxana Fouquet

Reportors and Photographers

• Sillie Schmooz
• Kryztine Ballinger
• Dokan Dryssen
• Krystel Sands
• Jessy Lynch
• Sole Jie
• Vila Demonge

Former Staff

• Zelda Homewood (Crazy Zel), former editrix
• Lady Dawson, former publisher
• nomads Dagger, former reporter
• Bane martinek, former photographer
• Anfrey Tripsa, former reporter

Slut's Hideaway

• 1 Slut Lane! Jumpy's crib in the cut! Where the magic happens! Slut Mag HQ! Where we spit shine and sparkle up hoes! Is you is or is you ain't invited! Only YOU know! AND I BUILT THAT! I am Lane...

External linx

• Slut Magazine: [http://www.slutmaglane.com/

• Slut Magazine Blog: [http://www.slutmagazine.blogspot.com/

• Slut Magazine Superstars: [http://www.slutmaglane.ning.com/
• Second Life Search resident Jumpman Lane:[http://world.secondlife.com/resident/ef410911-925e-4fc3-ab81-d1925fa4f70a