Hiya! I'm Kate Stockholm. Welcome to my wiki page! I was thinking about what perspective I could share with the rest of the Second Life community. Unlike many of the other pages I have read, this will NOT be a expert opinion or a how-to. Actually, I picked the areas I have the most trouble with. The following could not have been written without the help of my very good friends.

Confessions of a Beauty Contestant

I'm a finalist in the Miss SL Universe 2009 competition, Miss Sweden. Things are happening so fast, I thought I should write down my experiences before I forgot them. I don't know where the story goes from here. I am so busy. I'm having so much fun. I am trying to jam as much information about my adopted country into to my head as quickly I can. I feel so humble and blessed to have this opportunity. You should never give up on dreams! If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone!

Confessions of a Beauty Contestant appeared first in blog format on the Runway Kidz website http://runwaykidz.wordpress.com/ There is a little more storage there so I was able to supplement the text with pictures. Runway Kidz, founded in 2007, is a non-profit Second Life model support network group, by models for models. We currently have over 100 working male and female models as part of our organization. Many fashion models you've seen in fashion shows and on the pages of SL fashion magazines are members of Runway Kidz. I am pleased to represent and serve as an officer for Runway Kidz. Please IM me if you would like more information about the organization.

Brunette Ambition

One of the motivations in joining my model agency was the Miss SL Universe pageant. The current Miss SL Universe was director of models there. Imagine my disappointment when there was no desire to help. I was strongly discouraged.

My confusion was cleared up a month later when Miss SL Universe gave up her crown. Her choice was controversial and meant many different things to different people. My response was to enter the pageant.

The Application

On the surface, applying to the contest sounded pretty simple. Join the Best of Second Life Magazine Readers group and submit a couple pictures. The Miss SL Universe organization requested a head shot (close up picture of the avatar’s face) and a body shot (a picture of the whole avatar body). My goal with these pictures was to attract attention and leave a favorable impression.

There are several ways I thought about this. The photos could be an abstract or realistic. I have seen beauty expressed in anime style and vivid realism in Second Life. In addition, pictures can depict perfection or a flaw. I tried to imagine myself in the shoes of a contest judge. After the first dozen pictures, beautiful may become ordinary. So a perfect picture runs the risk of being ignored or passed over before getting a chance to establish the desired favorable impression.

What happens when a picture has a flaw? The defect holds the eye just a little bit longer. What is different about this? Do I like it or not? Such a picture engages the heart and mind. A flawed picture attracts attention, but risks the judge not liking it.

The June photos did not generate a casting call.

The Second Application

I was at one of my most favorite sims, Resolution. I was busy over-thinking (again) what successful application photos might look like. In total frustration, I started filling my hard drive with random pictures searching for ideas and inspiration. Some time later I was reviewing these photos. I came across a couple I thought might not only be good concepts, but actually worthy of submission. So I did! The picture at the beginning of this blog is one of those.

With about a week left in the deadline, headshots of the July applicants were posted. And mine wasn’t there! I requested a clarification. Imagine my surprise when Frolic Mills personally responded! He asked me to re-submit. Less than five minutes later, my picture was posted!

The July Auditions

The 100's of photos that are submitted every month are screened and the best are invited to a casting call. As a result of the July set of photos, I was called for casting. The only guidance was to wear something I thought might impress the judges. I remember dancing the night before, cycling through my wardrobe and stressing. I ended up wearing a short bob, a very hot/haute mix of two Aoharu dresses and J’s gladiator wedgies.

On the day of the casting call, I went over early to the Miss SL Universe Theatre to try and figure out what the casting challenge would be. While I was there, I met Patking Miles, a pre-finalist. She was so warm, sweet and encouraging. We struck up an immediate rapport. Its amazing how that happens with some people!

Called applicants lined up behind the stage and were anounced one-by-one to walk and pose for the three judges Minnu Palen, Frolic Mills and Isabela Brocco (current reigning Miss SL Universe). It was very crowded back stage. To make matters worse, there were avatars who hadn’t qualified lurking, hoping to sneak onto the stage in the confusion. I know how much people wish to be a part of this pageant, and so I was trying to be patient and forgiving.

Suddenly I hear “that’s all of them” and I hadn’t been called yet! I mentioned this to Giela Delpaso, one of the ladies helping out. She apologized for the oversight, managed to stop the judges from leaving and announced me to the runway. If it wasn't for Giela, I would have missed my opportunity! Patking watched the casting call from the audience and was incredibly supportive during my walk.

I did the best I could do and thought to myself… now it’s in the hands of the judges. When it was announced that I had been accepted as a pre-finalist along with another friend of mine, Alianna Logan, we decided to go out and celebrate. Summer Deadlight was DJing, so we went out dancing! I got to meet another pre-finalist, Barbarella Fuosing. Her partner Jacks owned the club. I also made another friend that evening, Dahni Ella. A great day was made even better with the news that Patking had been selected as the very first pre-finalist to be called out as a finalist for 2009.

Finalist

Next morning, my head still reeling from being selected as a pre-finalist, all pre-finalists were called back to the Miss SL Universe Theatre. A panel of this year’s official Miss Universe judges were going to select more finalists. I recognized some of the judges. Elisne Allen first introduced herself to me by saying she was Miss SL Universe for 5 minutes. Apparently, in the middle of announcing the winner last year the sim crashed, leaving everyone with the impression Elisne had won! I met Turlututu Chaffe at the 100% RFL charity runway show. I was very curious about his first name. It seemed so unique to me. I got distracted and didn’t get a chance to ask him. But it tweaked my curiosity. Much to my surprise, when I searched, there were 14 in SL with Turlututu as a first name. Now I was really intrigued! After a long google, I discovered it is onomatopoeia (I haven’t used that word since high school). It means a word that represents a sound… like “meow”. It’s a conventional representation in Europe of the sound a trumpet makes! Ta-daaaaah! The other three judges I only knew by reputation – Maximilian March entrepreneur, Maggie Mahoney of Runway magazine and Minnu Palen, well known skin designer.

Again, no clues ahead of time as to what the nature of the challenge would be. I showed up in a miniskirt, feather boa, t-shirt and some crazy “Happy Life Generator” hair I had found that morning wandering around a Japanese sim. Everyone else was wearing elaborate formals, big hats, looking elegant and fabulous. As the competition began, I was desperately sorting through my inventory to see what I could quickly come up with. It turns out the challenge was a static pose. Five pre-finalists would go out at once and pose for the judges.

Everyone was in dark or vibrant, dramatic colors and haute couture severely cut clothes, very modern, very Barbie doll. I thought the only thing I can do with everybody zigging is zag. I finally came across this outfit that was a copy of the dress Drew Barrymore wore in the movie Ever After… complete with DaVinci wings! So here was Kate in this high waisted pale green medieval dress with little matching fairy wings… oh yeah, and the happy life generator hair… I completely forgot I was wearing it.

It turns out the pre-finalist pool is fairly large… 50 ladies. As the pre-finalists proceeded out five by five, word comes backstage that the judges are getting restless and how many ladies are left? Send them all out! I didn’t get to pose against 5 ladies. I got to pose against 15. It was tight with five on that stage at the same time… fifteen was an adventure. There was lag, inadvertent and not so inadvertent pushing and shoving… I didn’t want to get too close to the front for fear someone would come up behind and push me off the stage. Two ladies posed right in front of me and a third posed half in me before having the good sense to move. At this point I was thinking to myself, well, there are going to be two more opportunities to become a finalist.

I didn’t even pay attention when the list came out. It wasn’t until Alianna congratulated me that I realized I had somehow become a finalist. I felt like I was in a dream. I kept waiting to hear… "We made a mistake, scratch Stockholm from the list!" It wasn’t until Frolic gave me an invitation into the MISS SL UNIVERSE ORGANIZATION group that it became real. I thanked Frolic profusely and he replied something to the effect that the competition gets intense and by October I might not be so thankful.

The Interview

As part of the process of introducing the Miss SL Universe contestants, the finalists had an interview and photoshoot for the next issue of the Best of Second Life (BOSL) magazine. I walked into my interview in my usual state of preparedness... I'm working on it, OK?

I guess the first thing that impressed me about my interviewer, Umberto Giano, was how prepared and professional he was. He had read my profile and my wiki page. I got a big kick out of this. I thought for sure nobody reads wiki pages! The nice thing about this was he was able to craft questions on topics I am passionate about. I am sure this was supposed to be a light interview piece. Due to Umberto's preparedness and my lack thereof, I probably revealed more of my ideals and nerdy personality than I necessarily should have. Oooo and there was interview controversy...

[17:15]  Kate Stockholm: OMG, not fair! There are so many...

What was the inflammatory question? What dumb thing will I say next? Just going to have to get September issue of BOSL to find out!

The Photoshoot

The BOSL photoshoot was four outfits of my choosing: two casual and two gowns. Umberto arranged to have my photographs taken by Zinc Karas. Umberto introduced Zinc to me by saying he was his favorite photographer in SL. He also mentioned they were friends for over 6 months before learning that Zinc was a photographer!

The new "prepared" Kate started by looking at Zinc's portfolio, located on Flickr. Wow! Zinc's pictures were amazing and Zinc was such a modest and quiet guy. I now understood Umberto's introduction. I was flattered and greatful to have a photo opportunity like this and even more determined to make the most of it. In researching Zinc's style, my friend Laura Streeter and I agreed the best single word would be "dark". Since I had four outfits, I selected one gown and one casual outfit to lean towards darker fashion. Again, I'm pretty sure the direction of the photoshoot, like the interview, was to be light, beautiful, breezy. Instead, I really wanted to meet Zinc halfway, speak to his muse if possible and get the very best from him.

The photoshoot was "on location" at the Japan Tempura Island. Tempura has become another of my all time favorite sims. Unlike the austere natural beauty of Resolution, Tempura has some of the best executed designs in SL. There is elegant beauty, breathtaking vistas and ornate detail around every corner of Tempura. Words do not do this island justice.

The dark formal gown was Adore by Soraya at Serene Sensations. I love this gown because it is all white like a wedding dress but still manages to be very very dark at the same time. I first saw this dress on the runway at the grand opening of the Velvet sim. I also wore the "Happy Life Generator" hair again. Call me superstitious. The photo location was the golden dance hall in Tempura with its high ceilings and polished floors.

My dark themed casual outfit was photographed inside an ornate steampunk airship near the coast... so perfectly me! The outfit was black and pink and white, almost harajuku, made up of bits and pieces from many different designers. Assembling outfits like this is fun for me and it really brings out my personality. Although, I may be in trouble if I have to put together a style card! There wasn't anything "off the shelf", not even the hair. I wore freebie socks and two different color shoes. Maybe I should have said something? I may cry if Zinc cuts off my feet in the picture!

Balanced against these two dark outfits were two bright cheery outfits. For these, only machang Pichot with her imagination, style and vivid complementary color combinations would do! For the casual photo to be taken in the atumnal forest among the deer, I wore an Aoharu Bright Gradation Dress in red. For the formal photo, taken under the graceful causeway arches of the sim entrance, I wore an Aoharu Big Ribbon Dress in blue. Its available now, but at the time of the photograph the Big Ribbon Dress hadn't been released yet. I really appreciated machang's generosity in allowing me to wear it.

I haven't seen proofs. The pictures are the property of BOSL. Even so, Umberto arranged so I can recieve full perm copies for my portfolio after the September BOSL issue is published. Have I already mentioned what a nice guy Umberto is? Have I already mentioned how welcoming, accepting, sweet and kind and professional everyone I have met in the Miss SL Universe Organization has been to me? Have I mentioned how proud and what a responsibility I feel to now belong to this group? What an incredible experience this has been.

First Public Photo

My friend Sam told me the best way to enjoy the big city was to carve out a home town. So in the big city of Second Life I was visiting my home town, the Miss SL Universe Theater. The contest has gotten so popular! So many people applying! /me waves to all the familiar, lovely faces up on the application board. There were a lot of entries in August, overflowing the top and the sides of the board. I wish you all good fortune in the casting call!

September is the final month to apply. I can only imagine what the September board will look like! While I was poking around I noticed portraits of the current eight finalists were also posted. While most of the portraits were beautiful, one stuck out in my mind as being just average. It wasn’t a bad photo, just not as good as it could be or as good as the rest. And I had a real dilemma because that average photo was mine!

Second Life is not like last weekend when I was bicycling and a bee flew down my shirt and while thrashing about madly I managed to fall off the bike, roll down the hill, bruise my shoulder, skin my knees and put a huge dent in the helmet... after which the bee stung me anyhow! People said they were impressed by how brave I was at the time. Well, I don’t have to be brave in print! Owie! Wah! It hurted!

Where was I? Oh yeah... Second Life is different. I can fall off a virtual bike and not get physically hurt. The trouble is the mental part. Second Life looks so much like Real Life. When there are problems in Second Life, my first reaction is as if it were Real Life. That RL reaction is usually unnecessary. If I can get past that, calm and assure myself I am safe, adversity in Second Life usually turns out to be a good thing, leading to opportunity. And yes, my knees are still tender, thank you for asking…

I fretted and pondered on what the opportunity was all evening and a great deal of the early morning. On one hand, its hard to say the relevance of this portrait, it’s only the first and I don’t know what will happen to it or how (if at all) it will be used. It will certainly not affect the outcome of the competition. Only one picture of many to come and I am sure the next one will be fabulous. On the other hand, the Miss SL Universe organization devotes a great deal of resources, time and effort into the contest. I feel a responsibility to represent an organization that works this hard with my best. On the third... hand(?), I didn’t wish to make waves or complain... that would make me look like a diva... well, more of a diva.

By morning I had a plan. Quality is what you expect associated with the Miss SL Universe organization. If I provided an alternative, similar composition picture, there might be a chance the organization would be agreeable to use it. I needed a great photographer and a super photo quickly.

Who doesn’t love SL hair? I was looking through the entries for the Hair Fair photo contest on Flickr. A funny thing would happen whenever I clicked on the photo properties, to find out more about my favorite pictures. They were all by the same photographer, Cherie Parker! I think I even IM’d her at the time to tell her how much I liked her SL photography. So, of course, Cherie was the first photographer I went to.

I explained I required a head shot crowding the left side of the frame with blue sky and clouds on the right. I explained it had to be fabulous and I needed it yesterday and Cherie agreed to help. The strategy was to keep the photo as complete as possible to minimize post processing time. Cherie had a concern that this was the fastest turn around photo she had ever done. Apparently, she normally takes a lot of time in post processing picking out each and every bad pixel. I appreciated her concern, but really, she was so good, her photo didn’t need any touch up.

I was very happy with the results and began feeling cautiously optimistic. Finally, Cherie’s curiosity got the best of her and she asked me just exactly what this photograph was for? I leveled with her, told her the whole story.

At the end of each month, Frolic Mills is always working hard, long hours, very busy and exhausted getting the next issue of the Best of Second Life magazine out. Not the best time to bother him, to ask him a favor. Yet time was of the essence… so I contacted him. He said he knew. Knew what? I was daunted, but started my wobbly pitch. He said it’s done. And I thought... don’t I have to give the picture first? I began to wonder if he really did know everything. At that moment I got an IM from Cherie Parker… she’d talked to Frolic, no worries. I was so relieved. I had no clue Cherie and Frolic knew each other. I guess I should keep track of such things. It turns out Cherie was a Miss SL Universe finalist herself last year! We did hugs all around. It was just another day in the contest. It was just another day of kind, generous and positive interactions with the most fascinating, fun and gifted people in Second Life.

A Promise Broken

Before I entered, I promised myself I would not let the contest change me, no matter what the outcome. After I became a finalist, strangers acted like best friends. A best friend accused me of being condescending. I quit the model agency. Am I being affected? Is everyone around me being affected? I had no idea how naive and unrealistic my promise was.

The August Auditions

I stopped by the Miss Universe Theater this week and was greeted by a familiar sight. All this month's application headshots are posted on a huge wall. The August live auditions for pre-finalist and finalists will soon be here! I volunteered to help at the live auditions. I couldn't resist... mentoring and fashion at the same time... I'm in heaven! I don't plan to do anything fancy, just make sure the ladies get into the theater for their casting call, help them to feel comfortable and relaxed. Ladies, if you have never seen your picture up in lights or are curious about the competition or the adrenaline pumping so bad your hands are shaking at the keyboard, this is definitely the place for you! It's incredible to look at the wall, all the beautiful avatars, all the creativity. Breathtaking! I got to see six more finalists be selected and welcome them to the pageant.

Three Random Big Thoughts

There is a long standing tradition in Second Life that the expression of female beauty is big... big lips, big eyes, big hips, big booty, big breasts... you get the idea. I suppose this a way to make things interesting, spice things up, the fun of sliders who's range exceeds nature. I, myself, was a tragic victim... It's times like these I want to kiss the person that finally had the nerve to speak up, ask me if they were supposed to be that big or if I just didn't know how I looked to other people. Yes, it stung a little bit. Otherwise, I'd probably still look like that.

[0:55] You: There are people here that never log off. What is this drive to achieve in SL? The energy just seems misplaced. [0:55] Graylon Ash: Oh I think it makes all the sense in the world. What ever prevents them from applying that energy in RL obviously doesn't effect them in SL.

As if there isn't enough stress and drama in the Miss SL Universe competition itself, it is an unfortunate truth that many of the finalists were harassed. I don't know what it is about getting a little fame and recognition that brings the crazies out of the woodwork. Yes, I was a victim of harassment, threatened. He said "Your days are numbered. I'm gonna cap your fat ass." I don't know how the rest of the finalists dealt with it. Personally, I went around for about a week asking people if they thought my butt was too large.

The September Auditions

Whoo-hoo!!! The big news of the last round of auditions, the September auditions, is my girl Dahni Ella got herself qualified as a finalist. I am soooo happy to have her here with me to share this experience. There are now all twenty finalists.

The pageant, held in the first week of December, is made up of three parts; a national costume competition, a swimsuit competition and an evening gown competition. It was said the pageant itself only counts 40% of a finalists score. The rest of the score determined by performances at three preliminary events.

The preliminary events were a fashion show, where each finalist selected an outfit from the sponsor, RFyre, and walked the runway. Another preliminary event was the Crystal Ballroom Gala, where the finalists were required to style a complete cocktail dress, perhaps in collaboration with a favored designer. The winner of this preliminary event would also be awarded the title of Miss Elegance. The other preliminary event was a Press Conference, where the finalists were all given the same dress and were graded on how each personally accessorized it and then answered questions from the press.

When the time and date for the press conference were announced... my heart sank. I was scheduled to be on a plane in RL at the time of the press conference. Ironically, the most modern method of transportation is the only place in the modern world without internet. I was only left to wonder how missing this preliminary event might affect my overall score.

An Unexpected Crown

I was browsing the web and ran across a picture of a popular russian singer, Lena Katina. There was something about the pose which just spoke of an ageless, timeless beauty. As a budding photographer, I wondered if I could capture something of the essence in this picture.

The first thing to notice about this picture is that Lena has her eyes closed. So I started a search on SL for an eyes closed pose. More importantly an eyes-stay-closed pose, so I could take a picture of it. A sleeping pose!

This made perfect sense to me at the time, but as I put it in writing, it was a pretty crazy search. I mean, who would make and sell a pose of an avatar sleeping? And honestly, how many customers like myself are willing to buy such a pose? Per usual, I turned up some promising leads with the SL search engine, but none of them panned out. I went to www.xstreetsl.com. The search engine there just seems to give me the answers I'm looking for. And sure enough, just typing in "sleep" led me to Atami Merlin's place, to exactly the animation I was looking for.

Well, so I took a bunch of photos with my eyes open to work out the posture and camera angles. By the way, if you want to take spectacular close-up photos, on the snapshot preview, select "Save to your hard drive", set size to "custom" and format to "jpeg". Now the trick. Crank up the width and height to 6016 (maximum), refresh and take the shot. When I upload the image back to Second Life, it comes back as 1024 x 1024 but somehow at a detail level that exceeds taking a 1024 x 1024 picture to start with. I don't know why this works. Perhaps some rocket surgeon will read this blog and give me a simple explanation.

But there was a problem with my skin! When my eyes were closed in the sleeping pose, it looked like my mascara ran horribly. None of the pictures looked right. I completely failed to capture what I loved about the original Lena picture. Epic fail! In frustration, I was about a keystroke away deleting the whole lot.

Fast forward a couple weeks and along comes the Face of photoLIFE pageant. This was a contest to find a Second Life "spokesmodel" for the photoLIFE professional photography system. I thought this looked like a perfect "tune-up" opportunity for the Miss SL Universe pageant. And the timing was perfect! The contest to find the Face of photoLIFE started in September and ended in November. Entry in the contest was pretty straightforward; a questionaire, join a group, a headshot and a bodyshot using a photoLIFE 2.0 studio. Several studios were put out for public access on the Opium sim to facilitate this. About a month later there was a "Top 20" party where the top 20 entries were announced. Yeay! I made the cut!

The next part of the contest was unlike any I have participated in. It was called a Fashion hunt. To reach the next level in the competition, the top 20 participated in a Trivia/Scavenger/Treasure Hunt with the top 5 finishers earning a guaranteed place in the top 10 finalists. After that were interviews with the owners of Opium, Oom and Mallory. As a result of the interviews, the rest of the final 10 were filled out and two alternates were announced. I completely messed up the Fashion hunt, so I must have done OK at the interview.

The last phase of the competition was divided into three parts. Each of the top 10 finalists were given 2000L to create two photographs. One that spoke to creativity and one that spoke to photogenic confidence. In addition to that there was a runway event. Each of the top 10 were to accessorize and model the same two gowns. The third portion consisted of narrowing the field to 5 and asking each of them really hard questions in real-time. I think my question was "Which of the final 5 does not deserve to win?" The finalists were judged in these three categories by a panel of fashion industry experts.

For the creative photograph, I could think of no-one better qualified to take my picture than the lovely and talented Cherie Parker. I worked on style while she worked on backdrop and together we came up with a photograph. A photograph that won "Miss Creative". YEAY! I split the prize money with Cherie!

I didn't see how I could demonstrate photogenic confidence without taking the photo myself. While sifting though portraits to see if I could find something suitable, I came across the Lena pictures. Not as horrible as I remembered. I thought one of them might work for the Miss Photogenic portion of the contest. And it turned out the photoLIFE judges, who knew nothing of the context I had taken the failed picture in, liked it very much! As models, we so often hear "no". We must learn to resist letting it affect outlook, avoid becoming our own worst critics. If I had followed my original inclination and deleted the picture, there would be a different lady wearing the crown, representing photoLIFE right now.

What's that? How did I answer the stinky question? LOL, I didn't, really. I said what was easy to say... what was in my heart... that all the finalists deserved to win.

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

Please excuse me a moment of vanity as I include an extremely flattering interview by Leah MuCullough for the December 2008 issue of Runway Magazine Model Focus entitled "Many Different Faces".

Beautiful, sweet, down-to-earth, intelligent, are some of the adjectives that might describe Kate Stockholm. I had the pleasure of spending some time with her and it was a great, enriching experience.

We all were new in SL once, and luckily, Kate's experience was a happy and pleasant one. "I read about Second Life. The novelty of Second Life drew me. I didn't really know what to expect, but it sounded very interesting ...I really enjoyed learning, going to the free classes in building and scripting. I spent most of my time in sandboxes making stuff. I also made some really great friends early, and I think the social aspect kept me here."

From building in sandboxes to be nominated as RUNWAY Model of the year is a big step. So, I asked her what we all want to know: "How did you end up being a model?"

"I was in a store, Hazel's I think. The store model there could have been my sister, we looked so much alike. I thought if she could do it, maybe I could too. Friends helped me put together a portfolio, some poses, some walks. I have had a lot of people be very generous in helping me with modeling. Nemi McCoy was my most important, significant teacher." Kate got her first modeling job a year ago, for two agencies Fashlink and Neiva Kumasi. Kate loves the runway: "Runway has and always will make my heart beat faster. I love the adrenaline. I love the stress to be perfect, to show the outfit as best it can be shown."

Another of her favorite things is the talented people she met in the business:"I really enjoy interacting with all the creative people in SL fashion. There are so many people who work so hard, with such a passion, whether it be photography or design or writing." But we have have our favorites, and Kate's favorite designer is Machang Pichot of Aoharu. "I love her colors and playful style."

Modeling in SL is full of happy, funny moments, recently Kate experienced one of those: "I got the pleasure to officiate at the awards for the My Second Closet 100th blog contest. Before the prize announcements, I met most of the contestants. One chat really stuck in my mind. Mostly because I really liked the contest entry and original clothes designs and the lady was so humble. She was all, well, I am not a winner, I do this for fun... then she won a prize, I got to tell her "Well, what do you know... you ARE a winner!". I love it. I live for moments like that in SL.

Sometimes being a model can lead to bittersweet experiences, but Kate has a very wise and positive way of seeing them: "What I like about Second Life is that there are no bad experiences, only opportunities. You don't skin a knee when falling off a bike in Second Life. The feelings gone through when falling off a bike, have to do with being scared and physically hurting. So, Second Life is very liberating to me. I don't have to be afraid of anything. I can step back from almost any bad situation, to look at it as an opportunity."

All the hard work she's put in her career has lead her to have some amazing experiences. For example, she has recently been chosen as the Face of photoLIFE 2009. "Honestly, it was a great contest. There were many aspects to it which were both novel and engaging. A treasure hunt for example. I made many new friends from the competition. It's a great feeling to now be associated with such a universally recognized quality product."

She is also a finalist in the 2009 Miss Virtual World competition, representing Sweden. "It is an incredible honor be a finalist in Miss Virtual World. If you think about it, every finalist from last year has gone on to do spectacular things in Second Life. In may ways, there may be more pressure on me after the contest."

But, when I mentioned her nomination as Runway Model of the year she get really emotional. "Another humbling recognition. This one I really feel kind of emotional about. It's so important to me and so gratifying to be recognized by these people who I respect, to whom I care so much about, in my first year as a model."

As for the future, Kate is planning on continue working on her modeling career, and also SL Mentoring. "I have always had place in my heart for those new or in need in Second Life. I help with simple things like how to move to fairly complex things... and everything in-between. I really have gotten a lot out of Second Life. This is my way of paying it forward."

She was extremely enthusiastic about mentoring and invited all of us to join and help the new users to make their first days very enjoyable. Sometimes it's difficult to start in this broad metaverse, so, you know what to do: SL Mentoring! As Kate said:"Look, if a fashion model can volunteer and be an SL Mentor, anybody can!"

Ten Questions for Miss Congeniality

Last weekend was the Miss Virtual World pageant, an incredibly glamorous event I was privileged to participate in. Yes... I know... it used to be called the Miss SL Universe pageant. Well... it turns out Donald Trump, owner of the real life Miss Universe pageant, was incensed to learn of a drag contest also named Miss Universe. He gave a legal team instructions to issue "cease and desist" orders to anybody "miss"-using the Miss Universe brand. LL was served and within 48 hours every reference to Miss SL Universe in second life (groups, profile picks, everything except my blog) was removed. Frolic came up with a new name for the pageant, I helped him trademark it and the show went on! And what an incredible show it was, watched by over 200 people across 4 sims. For the 20 finalists it was six tense, long hours, culminating six months of preparation and competition. Special thanks to Lora Constantine who provided me a great opportunity to debrief from the pageant... asked me these ten questions at the Miss Virtual World after party.

1. As a contestant in this coveted event, could you give a few words about your thoughts of it--both the event itself and your perspective as a contestant?

I loved the idea of representing Sweden and all the support I got from Swedish people in SL. I modeled my favorite designer's clothes that she made custom for me... in front of a huge crowd of 200+ people. Friends said I looked beautiful. I spoke from my heart about things I really care about. Many told me they loved the speech. I didn't make any mistakes walking the choreography. I didn't fold under the massive lag. I was deluged for days with IM's of support before the finale and I'm still responding to IM's of congratulations two days afterward.

I won Miss Congeniality, a title given by the finalists to one of their own. We shared a very unique experience together. I am richer for knowing each finalist... each unique, special interpretation of feminine beauty. Honestly, any of the 20 finalists would have made a great Miss Virtual World, all were deserving. I think the judges had a very difficult job. In my mind, that takes nothing away from the top 5 and the very special Mimmi who was chosen as Miss Virtual World and will represent all of us. Some people told me I changed when I became a finalist. Some people told me the title of Miss C means nothing. I disagree. I have the friendship and respect of my peers, confirmation that I did not lose track of what is important. I treasure my Miss C title, all the friends I made in this pageant and what I learned about myself.

2. Also, did you get to choose your own "looks", such as dresses, hair and skin for the event? If so, how did you select your appearance?

We all wore the same swimsuit. Otherwise, were given broad categories of evening gown and national costume to fill in. I went to my favorite designer, machang Pichot and asked her for help. Also a custom set of shoes were made for me by another dear friend Trinity Clift. My best friend, Nemi McCoy loaned me some jewelry. I filled in the rest from stuff I made or from my inventory. As to appearance, I recall only one incident where a finalist was counseled to change her look. And it was only a very minor change from white to blonde hair. I did not change my shape during the competition. It is true I went from being one of the tallest finalists at the beginning of the competition to noticing as we queued up for the final walk that I was now one of the shortest.

3. What is it like to be a model in a virtual world?

Its a dream come true (for me). I don't think anyone who has not walked a runway can possibly imagine the difficulties involved. It has given me a greater appreciation for the people who deal with these difficulties and maintain a good attitude. Next time you ask yourself "why is she a top model?", understand that its also the things you can't see, like their professionalism, that make all the difference.

4. What is it like to be able to design your identity through purchasing and creating items?

Its actually easier and less time consuming than maintaining appearances in RL. Wake up in the morning in SL and look just as nice as when you went to bed the night before. Each day you can make small improvements. After a while it starts adding up. One early concern I had with purchased items was that I would end up looking like everyone else, losing my individuality. One of my closest friends and another finalist in MVW wore the same skin and eyebrows as I did... yet no one would have ever confused us. Somehow a personal interpretation of beauty sneaks in... conscious or unconcious... I dunno... maybe a little bit of both.

5. How much time do you spend preparing for each show, and what do you do?

I take each outfit and depending on the style card accessorize to flatter. The outfit may require a custom avatar shape to get the most out of it. Then I choose poses that show the outfit to best advantage. Then I build an AO with the poses and a walk and put it all in a folder. There may be 3-4 outfits per show so that's actually quite a lot of work. Then there is usually a couple hours dedicated to learning the choreography for the show. You usually arrive about an hour before the show starts and stays a couple hours at the after party schmoozing. So I would say worst case 8 hours for every two hour show. I'm not comfortable doing more than 3 shows a weekend.

6. How do you keep up with fashion trends on SL?

Possibly 80% of what a model does is network with other models. We are all doing shows, seeing the latest things, trading ideas. Then there is, of course, conventional research. I have chased an avvie halfway across a sim to find out what hair she was wearing...

7. How do you feel about lag and its effects on both your appearance and the show?

Well, lag sucks, but there is not much that can be done about it. The best models use the fastest internet connections and the latest gaming desktop computers to remove any source of lag other than the LL servers. There are also several techniques to minimize the effect an overloaded server has on avatar performance and ways to make movement smooth irrespective of the amount of lag.

8. What do you think of the idea that the audience will see something very different depending on their system?

Cool question. When you build an avatar for modeling you need to know it looks great from a variety of angles, distances and resolutions.

9. Does your RL experience help you in this SL endeavor?

Heavens no. Wouldn't be much of a second life if it had a lot in common with my first life.

10. What do you think will be the future of SL? The future of SL fashion shows and pageants? What do you anticipate?

I don't know. I want to be a part of it! All I am sure is that by being a model, I get a front row seat to the future of fashion. I anticipate fun! 8)

Why Beauty Pageants?

Before I bundled up my hopes and dreams and leapt headfirst into the crazy word of virtual pageants, I made a list of pros and cons of beauty contests. I thought this would be a good opportunity, a year later, to go back through and see how many of the assumptions I had going into this adventure still hold true.

The Goods

May earn money. May be true for the one winner, but certainly not true for the many losers (who put in as much, if not more effort into the contest).

May increase other opportunities. This was very true for me. Just being a finalist in the right contest can open many doors that were previously closed.

May make winner happy. True, but happy like a thrill ride. Temporary. At the start of the next contest you are again just another contestant, like everyone else.

Participation may increase positive self-esteem. Yes, true for me. Like many, I suspected I was good enough, but one never knows for sure. I know of others whose self-esteem was squashed like a bug on the windshield of a speeding truck. So be careful, here.

Participation is not compulsory. True... its actually quite hard to participate, for those of the mindset its an honor just to qualify to compete.

Opportunity to promote and inform on a critical social issue. Partially true. I mean, you can do it... but understand that being real on critical issues is not high on the list of the reasons people enjoy and attend SL beauty pageants.

The Bads

Not an equal opportunity to everyone. Partially true. Beauty contests are very western culturally specific. Is there such thing as a truly impartial judge? An ugly avatar has no chance of ever winning, but, there is nothing wrong with judging people primarily on physical attributes - its done all the time in competitive sport.

Objectifies, idealizes women. Partially true, it reinforces a superficial view of beauty: tall, skinny, looks great in a swimsuit or fancy gown. On the other hand, SL provides the unique opportunity to promote this ideal of female beauty that all can aspire to without encouraging eating disorders and cosmetic surgery. It gave me the opportunity to act out a portion of myself I never felt comfortable with in RL.

May lead to unhealthy competition, winning-is-everything attitude. True. Sadly true. It is also an opportunity to show character.

Summary

Things I thought were good were bad and things I thought were bad were good. In the end, the balance sheet still comes out positive for me. And I am still happily participating. On the eve of some of the larger pageants in Second Life, I want to wish good fortune and happiness to all who also choose to participate. May all your dreams come true.

Final Words

I didn't win the MVW crown that I worked six long, hard months to earn. I won a different crown instead, with a picture I almost threw away. After the excitement died down on all the competitions, I received a most unexpected, pleasant surprise. I was nominated for Runway model of the year. The people in the SL fashion industry; the designers, photographers, writers and media professionals get together at the end of the year and nominate their favorite models to work with. I think it meant so much to me as I did not seek this recognition. This was just me being me. No pretense, no calculation, no politics. It speaks to the kindness and generosity of this industry that I should be nominated in my first year as a model. I was both humbled and honored by nomination for this achievement award. Honestly, this has been the most amazing year!

During MVW, I developed two very close friendships with co-finalists Patking Miles and Dahni Ella. You know... the kind of ladies I could say anything that was on my mind to. While sitting around at tedious MVW events we kept each other entertained, laughing and talking in private chat. When both Dahni and Patking left the competition, I think a piece of my heart left the competition with each of them. And by the end, I felt alone and isolated and just going through the motions. Did the judges see that? Sighs.

So many hopes and dreams wound up in MVW. Many of the finalists took the judging hard; quitting modeling or leaving Second Life for a month or two. I was very fortunate to have my role at photoLIFE to help focus my attention. And it has turned into a great opportunity, working with the photographers and builders at Opium, working with clothing designers on photography promotions. Every month a new contest, a new magazine ad campaign, a new chance to recognize great photography in Second Life. Crowned and gowned, I make a "regal" appearance and I give away a photoLIFE studio to some deserving photographer. Honestly, I wouldn't want to wear a crown every day... but... once a month... its kinda fun!

So I guess if there is a true confession at the root of this blog, it's that being a reasonably successful model and beauty contestant is a mixed bag. It has ups and downs. Overall, my experience this year has been positive. I have been living out my childhood dreams of beauty and high fashion. I enjoy modeling, although for different reasons than I thought when I began modeling. This year taught me how to bring it on an intensity level I didn't know was possible or that I was capable of. I have been invited into all of the prestigious virtual model management agencies. I am finally getting traction on my vision of a community gateway with Best of Second Life. My face and my writing are featured in the popular SL magazines. These are all things I thought I needed to win to accomplish. So the final, and most important lesson I learned turned out to be: I was wrong. I didn't really need to become Miss Virtual World to accomplish my dreams in Second Life.

Relationships in Second Life

When they first met, Lee De Forest installed his new invention, a wireless radio telephone, in Lucille Sheardown's house and instructed her on its use. Their courtship was unique in that it was perhaps the first carried on largely by electronic means. In 1906, Lee married Lucille, but they did not live happily together. Amid accusations of infidelity and cruelty, the couple messily divorced less than 6 months later.

"I am feeling lonely and sad, and in need of love. The very thing I came to SL to seek, is the very thing I have been without while trying to get it from the realest place I have found. But all this time without it is painful and there is a hole in my life where I needed to be filled. Please excuse my absence while I collect myself and soul search within. I will persevere. Forever Love,Chloe" Chloe Cantrell, 2008

So, you know how relationships are really hard in real life? Just try doing it with less trust, less powerful tools to build trust, and a variety of wildly divergent perspectives on what actions in a virtual world 'mean'. Don't let a 102 year history of really bad virtual relationships discourage! Just don’t expect the same relationship success rate in virtual life as in real life.

Why are virtual relationships so difficult?

I once heard if you wished to ruin a virtual relationship, first a make virtual partnership or perhaps an elaborate virtual wedding. I used to think this person a cynic. I have slowly come to the realization that perhaps he was a realist. For some reason, the tools and conventions that bind real world relationships, make them stronger, tend to blow up virtual relationships. There appears to be no template of how to be successful at virtual relationships. This inspires in me both fear and imagination. It costs the same to partner in Second Life as it does to upload a snapshot. Lately, I have partnering a lot less and photographing a lot more.

Its possible the root of these relationship/social misconceptions may have to do intrinsically with the medium. Virtual life is new, providing only a facsimile of embodiment with only the coarsest of controls, devoid of nuance or actual embodiment. Can you really know another without facial expressions or body language? The infrastructure is so dynamic that many people are not able to spend enough time in virtual life to develop a reasonable perspective. Virtual life can be confusing and disorienting. It occupies a liminal space where words are somehow more associated with reality than actions. And there is no touch. Virtual life has no intrinsic meaning or goal, yet it may be impossible to suspend the human will to meaning, the desire to build meaningful connections, no matter how inadequate the means provided by the medium.

There is a person behind every avatar.

Do virtual relationship problems arise out of the personal motivations for virtual life? Clearly, all come to virtual life for the novelty. Why do some stay and some leave?

In real life, some people spend their entire lives on a hamster wheel creating wants out of dreams, needs out of wants, dreams out of needs. These people believe there is an answer to the empty, scary feeling that persists no matter what they do. A virtual world speaks eloquently to such people. Others discover that virtual life has removed barriers which prevented them from getting what they needed in real life. Still others feel comfort in the complete anonymity of virtual life.

Most are frankly blindsided when they learn, despite best efforts, their personal issues have followed them into virtual life, heeled like well trained pets. If not careful, they can unconsciously hurt themselves and the people around them. I have attempted to group observed motivations into categories. None of these categories describe any specific virtual avatar. Nor are any motivations intrinsically evil. Avatars, like the people behind them, are complex. Please take this as an opportunity to share perspective, walk for a moment in different shoes.

The Wallis Simpson Avatar

To some, virtual life represents a “golden” opportunity to see how thin or rich they can be. Many people wish to be seen as what they would like to be, not what they are. If they feel ordinary, they wish to be beautiful. If they are dysfunctional, they wish you to marvel at their success.

The Vegas Avatar

The novelty and ostentation of virtual life may make real life dim by comparison. In virtual life, there is no mortgage to pay, family to feed, car needing repairs, no work, no time, no day, no night; those things… the context of real life… are someplace else. These people believe, to coin a popular phrase, what happens in virtual life stays in virtual life.

The Hero/Trickster Avatar

In virtual life, all are more powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, able to jump high buildings in a single bound, create and destroy with a single sweep of the hand… if you wish to. For some, the no rules environment of virtual life is an opportunity to make mischief. For others, it represents an opportunity to display courage and depth of character, rescue or nurture. By means either good or bad, their common intent is to be taken seriously by attracting attention and reaction.

The Sea Otter Avatar

Many virtual worlds are built with no apparent motive other than to delight. A virtual vacation can be incredibly compelling… to bask in the virtual sun, to laugh and smile and dance to interact/exchange ideas with people from around the world, that would have never been met under any other circumstances. With ground rules, even consensual hallucinations (romance), can also be fun and therapeutic. These people treat virtual life as a game.

The Goddess Avatar

Gloria Steinem argues gender is the most restricting force in western society. That cuts both ways. Virtual life provides a reasonably safe opportunity for men to express themselves in ways that would be otherwise unsafe by western social standards. I forgive men for wishing to do as a woman does in virtual life in hopes they will reciprocate for me wishing to do as a man does in real life.

The Garbo Avatar

One effective method of meeting folks appears to be sitting despondent, isolated in a crowded virtual pub and saying “leave me alone” or “don’t even ask”. This behavior attracts the hero/trickster type like a duck on a June bug. Everyone gets the blues from time to time. It must be a survival trait, depression certainly does nothing to dampen libido.

Communication or how I learned to love kissing frogs.

In real life, I don’t attempt to build a relationship with a person until I am fairly sure I am interested in them. For example, I don’t go out on a date with someone until I’ve talked to the person for awhile, met their gaze, and seen their body language. These simple things play an extremely important role in determining if I am interested in someone.

In virtual life, the relationship building starts when I have decided that I’d like to find out if I am really interested. The most casual conversation can lend the appearance of a relationship, progressing much deeper than it really has. When I meet someone new in real life, I usually attempt to establish common ground through questions like where they live or what they do. Imagine my surprise when in virtual life such questions are almost in bad taste. At what point does an honest attempt to put your best foot foward become a virtual culture of insincerity? And how do you build any kind of relationship of substance on such flimsy foundations? In virtual life, the only tools to find out about a person are IM/email, chat, and voice. I used to think these tools gave a good indication of someone I wanted to build a relationship with. I soon learned that no matter how much time is spent trying to get a feel for someone in advance, at some point realization sinks in they are not the person I had been constructing in my mind.

Let's be honest... how much of a relationship fits through a computer screen? It is too easy to type "I love you". It is too easy to reply "I love you, too". To me, in virtual life, saying "I Love You" does not mean this is it. It's not a promise, does not mean no one else matters, nor is it any indication that nothing or no one will ever come between us. I choose for it to mean that the moment is unique, sweet and most beautiful because it is shared. The moment is good enough for me.

Nerds rule!

If you made it this far, you are probably beginning to suspect every avatar hides an addictive personality, detached reality, lack of life planning, suspect judgement and a host of other ailments that make them generally unsuitable to be around, and certainly untrustworthy. No! Well... yes and no! While a certain amount of caution in whom trust is invested makes sense, it is no reason to become antisocial. Don't let paranoia or shyness deny this great opportunity to meet people! I have met amazing, incredible, wierd, wonderful people online!

Everyone thinks the big strong caveman and/or the fast talker get the girl. That may have been the way it usually worked. That may explain why IQ among the majority of children is plummeting. That doesn’t explain how technology and civilization were created. I suspect there was always some dreamer who had the ability to visualize dangers, imagine the future, see possibilities. When the fast talker ran off a cliff to avoid the cave bear or the caveman died trying to beat the bear to death with a rock, the dreamer was sitting back thinking “that would have worked better if the bear was run off the cliff”. The dreamer survived after the go-getters and fast-talkers got themselves killed. My greatest hope is that dreamers continue to thrive. Maybe virtual worlds can help that. Only the dreamers will take up the work of virtual worlds to the next generation. If someone is going to figure out how this all can work, its you!

Jerry Springer Says

Should you fall in love online? I don't know what to say about this. It happens all the time. On the other hand, there are a lot of people hurt seeking online love. It seems to me as if virtual life, in every case, must be prioritized below real life. So it follows that all you can expect in virtual life is second best. When it comes to love, don't you deserve better? That being said, I am in the middle of a gentle, virtual love affair. Most of the time I am very happy... although, every once in a while, virtual love feels like an itch I didn't know I had which is somehow impossible to reach or adequately scratch.

User:Kate Stockholm

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