User talk:Catherine Cotton

Not the history of SL, but my history in SL.

I was asked a while back by Eggy to write my memories of SL here in the wiki. Since my plate is over flowing and I have a vast amount of things to do; I figured this was the perfect time to do so ;)

Let me preface this by saying that I do not remember all the places I have lived or all the ppl I have met since 2003. However this is the truth as I remember it.

One of my fondest memories was living in the Lusk neighborhood across the street from Fey Brightwillow. Those days were full of hope and anticipation and so much fun. Everything was fresh and new and really wonderful. I have created neighborhoods with that same small town feeling countless times in SL. Residential communities were my passion for a long time.

Let’s begin with Avalon, Fizik Baskerville and Obscuro Valkyrie. Avalon was the first commercial space in second life. I protested this with my physical avatar iw and in the forums. While on Avalon and carrying my sign Obscuro Valkyrie was also there protesting. He was saying that he was cheated out of the first island and that it was for his non profit group. Well of course I came to his defense and at the time it added more fuel to the fire. During this time I was summoned by Obscuro and his friends and they told me flat out that it was all a lie and I was used. In the end they lost out on the bid and I was just a pawn in their trying to get the island back. To this day I have nothing kind to say about Obscuro or his friends. Nor would I ever trust them. They tried to intimidate me at the time and I recall saying out loud to them “What can you do? Break my knees?” They wanted me to drop the entire issue. I didn’t. Obviously I still haven’t forgotten.

Needless to say Fizik won the bid and began to run his commercial businesses. We even got to know each other and were on friendly terms. Then something happened that not only made me question my own ethics but Fizik’s as well. Not only did I become friendly with Fizik but I helped him with a campaign and even lived in an apartment on Avalon for a short time. I felt pressured to use my friends for the good of Avalon, with the understanding that I could sell my dolls on Avalon in exchange. Needless to say I still haven’t made a new doll since. But I kept my ethics in tact and I did not abuse the privilege of the friendships I had.

All the while this was all going on I was called every name in the book on the forums and it was at times too much to take. Often leading to me being in tears and wondering why I wasn’t entitled to my opinions. Some said I wanted to be a martyr others thought I should be shot. I said what I felt and I took on anyone even Linden Lab. When the split face ad came out and it was done by Fizik and purchased by Linden Lab; I cried foul again. It seemed to me there were some backroom deals going on and this was proof. Philip Linden called me personally and told me he had a picture of the the split face on his computer monitor for some time and it was just funny that Fizik came to him with the ad campaign idea. During the same conversation he told me Linden Lab would start selling Linden dollars. So I did know before many that the Gaming Open Market would go out of business. Of course I logged into Second Life to tell the one friend at the time I could trust; Khamon Fate. After all these years I still trust Khamon. There are very few ppl I do trust anymore. I have had my fill of my being used and my work being ripped off and resold.

Am I jumping around too much? Probably. Do I care; Probably not. Like I said this is as I remember it.

The forums; what a filth pit that was. Not a fond memory by any means, and a time I have often regretted saying anything at all. I learned a few things about myself, mainly that I was right about how a lot of Second Life would turn out. I was called a bigot, a racist, and a few choice names I would rather not post, mainly I think they would get deleted anyway or I would. Let’s just say if my children ever uttered some of the things I was called; I would grab a bar of soap. This part is hard to talk about. I still don’t think I deserved the treatment I got. People bashed me, logged on an alt and had their alt bash me; all the while I was expected to defend myself. I was not an angel by any means I gave as good as I got; believe that. Looking back I probably should of stated my opinion and logged off. I should not of defended my opinon; but just let it stand. I do post occasionally now but I state my opinion and leave.

On being a bigot; no truth to it. On being a racist; no truth to it.

I have prejudices, I honestly believe everyone does. That however does not make me a racist. There is a difference. I hate terrorists.. I am American, and proud to be one. I have lived in Saudi Arabia for 4 years. I know what to fear and what not to fear. Not all Muslims are bad ppl.

For my views in fourms I was harassed in world. Even though I tried very hard not to talk about the forums in world with anyone including my friends. But it did occasionally come up. Second Life was and always has been my escape, my playground, my creative outlet. It still is. I have lived my Second Life as Martin Magpie and I reinvented myself and opened Chicago 1900’s. It was met with a lot of opinions and a lot of people tore it apart as a part of a personal vendetta. I took it down, and never built another project for all of Second Life to enjoy freely. It left me hurt and saddened. Of course it did it cost me a lot of money to create it and a lot of really great friends and creators were hurt as a result. So again I made an alt and went about to create creative spaces. Just not under any name that anyone knew. I have been running residential communities for the past 7 years in one way or another. I have met so many kind ppl and some real jerks.

In the early days I posted a sign of all the ppl in the forums who had done me wrong and Linden Lab proceeded to take it down. One guy in particular was someone who I thought was a friend. I got even by giving away his Avatar. Again the Lindens stepped in and asked me to stop. I did then; I wouldn’t stop now. We all change.

I cannot talk about the forums without Joshua Nightshade; what a miserable human being that guy is. I cannot and will not make excuses, justify, or forget the harm this guy has caused. Not just to me but to many ppl I know. Why anyone would stick up for that guy is beyond my scope of reason. I am being kind.

I have lived threw being misdiagnosed with Lupus, and yes it left me bitter. Which in it’s self was a very strange time as well. We had some severe family issues going on and all the regular life problems. So I thought I dodged the bullet, only to find out that I have adult scoliosis. Which I will take over Lupus any day of the week. I won’t lie however it was a bummer life moment. 7 years being in Second Life, my goodness a lot has happened. Would you like to hear how I got falling down drunk and cried for 3 days during this time? Well of course I did. I am only human. My bones hurt but I refuse to take any medication what so ever; well I will take some aleve occasionally, and I really enjoy a good beer J

My life was all over the forums and everyone thought they knew me, they didn’t. Most of my life is still privileged information and I don’t share it. I have never once been to a SLCC convention. I wish I had once with my friend Claire Glitterbuck. She died the next year, that too was a lot to take. I would say she was probably the best friend I had in Second Life. Of course I still miss her. That was a rough week, she died then my dog of 15 years died. You cannot make up my life, it’s complicated, and weird and unfortunately for me it always has been. *smile.

Romance in Second Life; I have been happily married for nearly 25 years, you cannot do that and be screwing around. My priorities are straight, always have been. But I do not mind a virtual cuddle. My hubby and I used joke around about SL and he even asked me once if I was a virtual hooker. LOL, hardly dear. But I think if my hubby were a woman in SL he would probably of made bank :D Yes he would laugh at that statement.

Lets see what other juicy bits would ppl want to know?

My current views;

Commercialism in Second Life; same as they have always been. Real life companies should not come into SL and try to make a buck off the residents. Residents should sell to each other.

Rippng models and textures; People who rip textures and models off the internet or in SL; and resell them in SL, suck. Learn something other than how to make a quick buck.

Sex in SL;

What ever floats your boat. I have rented to a lot of hookers in SL, most of which turn out to be rl men. Ha!

Where do I see SL going?

I see it improving, it has to now that Blue Mars is a reality. Change or die. LL doesn’t have much choice. They should however really consider lowering their prices, to keep their residents. Space in Blue Mars is cheap and vast compared to SL. Yes I exist in both worlds as a developer.

Web 2.0

When I began SL I came here to create, I still do that 7 years later. My personal experience has not changed regardless of how bad people wanted SL to be the next greatest thing; “Web 2.0”

SL has it has always been a creative place to explore and do what we cannot in RL.

What should LL not do?

I still think LL needs to stop taking over businesses that were traditionally done by residents. Taking over the GOM was a mistake. I heard first hand that the new port theme was sold to LL or LL would of created their own. Some choice; sell or we will do it on our own and put you out of business. Now they are running their own residential communities, slowly creating their own zoning laws and profiting off these residential communities. People like me struggled for the last couple of years trying to keep our Residential communities full so we could make tier. LL didn’t put me out of business; I saw it coming and sold off all but one island; which I use to create on. If I am in direct competition with LL; I will lose. That’s a fact folks, think about your own personal needs first. LL may own SL but it’s the content providers that make it what it is; that is not LL. Don’t give over the power you have.

LL works for us not the other way around.

My opinions have not changed in 7 years, there is nothing compelling that would change them.

Now what?

I no longer stick up for the small guy. Once bitten twice shy. I don’t sit in an ivory tower thinking I am better than the next guy. I am not. I don’t waste my time sitting on a pitty pot; or thinking about the past; but I do hold ppl accountable for their actions. I believe in forgiveness, but I don’t forget.

I split my time between Second Life and Blue Mars these days. I now create and sell what I make; which is new for me. I hope Second Life is around for another 7 years J

Peace and Love

Cat Cotton